Wednesday, September 24, 2008
On actually having to deal with your feelings
I'm a little blue. It happens sometimes but for the first time in my life I can't soothe the feeling with Oreo cookies or buffalo wings or pizza. It's in times like this that you see what emotional stuff you are made of. How am I coping? Well, I have resolved to focus on the things that make me happy and I am. That makes things a little better. I'll be blue for a little while and then one day I won't be anymore. Let's hope that day comes soon.
Anyway, I thought I'd start a list of things that make me happy. In no particular order, here are a couple of the things from my list:
1. Hanging out with my daughters
2. The smell of bleach
3. Coach purses
4. Sunrise
5. Sunset
6. Christmas
7. Scrabble
8. Being crazy busy (but owning it)
9. Running on the treadmill (it makes me happy when I complete the running)
10. The Notorious B.I.G.
11. Sex and the City
12. Good deals at Salvation Army
13. Chopping vegetables (weird I know)
14. Long walks in Columbia
15. Taking "mental health" days and hanging out with my mom
16. The Amish market
17. The YMCA
18. White Diamonds perfume
19. Harry Potter books
20. New hair pieces
So there you go...20 solid things that make me happy. I can focus in on those, right???
Seriously though, looking forward this weekend to renting the Sex and the City movie as I was sooo mad that I didn't see it on the big screen. Tomorrow I go out to Columbia but not for a walk but to go to our family's "Survivor" party. My stepsister Crystal (whom I've never met but still claim - Go Crystal!) will be competing and in the commercial she says she WILL be the first Olympic gold medalist and Survivor winner. So there!
Hey I forgot two last things that make me happy. Project Runway and Grey's Anatomy. The former is winding down the seaason and the latter premiers tomorrow! Maybe my blue is starting to turn pink...
Anyway, I thought I'd start a list of things that make me happy. In no particular order, here are a couple of the things from my list:
1. Hanging out with my daughters
2. The smell of bleach
3. Coach purses
4. Sunrise
5. Sunset
6. Christmas
7. Scrabble
8. Being crazy busy (but owning it)
9. Running on the treadmill (it makes me happy when I complete the running)
10. The Notorious B.I.G.
11. Sex and the City
12. Good deals at Salvation Army
13. Chopping vegetables (weird I know)
14. Long walks in Columbia
15. Taking "mental health" days and hanging out with my mom
16. The Amish market
17. The YMCA
18. White Diamonds perfume
19. Harry Potter books
20. New hair pieces
So there you go...20 solid things that make me happy. I can focus in on those, right???
Seriously though, looking forward this weekend to renting the Sex and the City movie as I was sooo mad that I didn't see it on the big screen. Tomorrow I go out to Columbia but not for a walk but to go to our family's "Survivor" party. My stepsister Crystal (whom I've never met but still claim - Go Crystal!) will be competing and in the commercial she says she WILL be the first Olympic gold medalist and Survivor winner. So there!
Hey I forgot two last things that make me happy. Project Runway and Grey's Anatomy. The former is winding down the seaason and the latter premiers tomorrow! Maybe my blue is starting to turn pink...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Who's that Chick?
Take a look at the two women above and tell me which one looks like she's really enjoying life. Seriously, though, this is my "official" before/after pic. It took me a while to get one because...well, thanks to the wonders of insecurity and neuroses I still didn't really see the difference in my self. Yes, yes, looking at this it sounds crazy doesn't it? But it takes a while for the brain to catch up with what's happening to the body.
Anyhoo...let me take a moment to tell you about the chick on the left. She was not happy. Sure, she smiled and laughed but behind that smile was a lonely woman. A woman so accustomed to shutting out the rest of the world, she could barely stand to be touched, even for a hug from her family or friends. That chick had a four-Pepsi-a-day habit. She ate whole packs of Oreo cookies and could finish off a large pizza by herself. As you can see, she barely gave flying fig how she looked going out of the house. She was a size 4X or a 26/28 which she had convinced herself was something to take pride in. Now I'm not knocking the big beautiful women out there who are confident and proud, but that was not that chick. That chick hid behind excuses waiting for life to come to her.
The chick on the right. She is something totally different. She's hard to describe because she's a work in progress. What I know about her as of right now is that she looks forward to the challenge of a new day. She likes to look her best going out of the house because who knows who she'll meet? She is no longer a zombie in front of the tv. She interacts with her children, talks to her friends, and totally gets a kick out of outpacing men on the eliptical machine at the gym. That chick has set a goal for herself to go to grad school in 2009 and I think she is actually gonna do it. That chick has decided she's tired of being alone and has thrown herself into the crazy world of dating after 30. She's different clothing sizes (depending on the name brand) but most place her at a size L or a 12/14, which she is proud of but at the same time cannot wait to shrink out of. Most importantly, that chick is living her life whereas the chick on the right is watching that life pass her by.
So there you have it folks. I am nearly 9 months post-op. This picture was taken a little over a year ago. 115 lbs ago. It seems like a lifetime ago. I'm not posting this to be braggadocious (is that a real word?) but more to make the statement that change can happen if you make it happen. I resolve every morning to make it happen for me.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Ok, ok, so I'll post a recipe...
I made the most AMAZING soup the other day. No, I don't have a picture of the soup because I'm not all fancy like that but it was soooo yummy. It was jambalaya-esque (meaning not quite jambalaya but it put you in the mind of jambalaya). It turned out a wee bit too spicy so the recipe below takes that down a notch to just "kicky."
Nikki's "mock jambalaya"
2 c. reduced fat chicken stock
1 c. water
4 slices pork bacon, fried, drippings reserved
1 small onion, chopped
2 button mushrooms, chopped
2 c. baby spinach
1 16 oz. can tomatoes and chiles
1 reduced fat turkey smoked sausage link, diced
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 c. uncooked quinoa
Optional: 1 lb. peeled and deveined medium shrimp
Directions:
1. Sautee spinach in bacon drippings adding 1/2 c at a time until slightly wilted before adding the next. Once all spinach is wilted, add onions and mushrooms and cook until translucent.
2. In a medium sized pot, combine chicken stock, water and quinoa over a medium flame, bringing to a boil and then lowering heat to simmer.
3. Add tomatoes and chiles and red pepper flakes to the chicken stock and bring to a boil.
4. Add spinach mixture, smoked sausage, and shrimp and simmer for about 20 minutes.
Now if you want real, real goodness, dice up the bacon and throw it in there. If you're one of those health nuts like me, leave it out. I like to use my fat sources wisely. For cajun-esque cooking there is just no substitute for bacon, so I use the drippings to get the flavor. I don't have nutritional information right off hand but I rember after plugging it into my food journal it wasn't that bad on calories or fat. In the future I'll add a little more quinoa and more meat and shrimp to bump up the protein in it but overall it was yummy! I played lunch fairy with my Guinea Pig...er, friend Melanie who said she loved the flavor but that it was a bit too spicy (remember in my version at home I used a spicier version, the above should be just fine for those of you who only like a touch of spiciness.)
In other news, I read a study today (and if I was smart I'd link it) that says that there is no detrimental effect on weight loss by eating late at night. The caveat is that you have to consistently burn a good amount of energy during the day. Well today I cleaned all day long and ended the day with a nice 30 minute cardio blast I dunno if this qualifies me for the late eating plan, but I'm gonna have a snack soon all the same.
I haven't posted my stats the last few posts so I'll give you an update:
Highest Weight: 337 lbs.
Surgery day weight: 327 lbs.
Today's weight: 214 lbs.
Total loss since surgery: 113 lbs!!!
I'm chipping away at it folks! Pray for me as I continue on this journey.
Nikki's "mock jambalaya"
2 c. reduced fat chicken stock
1 c. water
4 slices pork bacon, fried, drippings reserved
1 small onion, chopped
2 button mushrooms, chopped
2 c. baby spinach
1 16 oz. can tomatoes and chiles
1 reduced fat turkey smoked sausage link, diced
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 c. uncooked quinoa
Optional: 1 lb. peeled and deveined medium shrimp
Directions:
1. Sautee spinach in bacon drippings adding 1/2 c at a time until slightly wilted before adding the next. Once all spinach is wilted, add onions and mushrooms and cook until translucent.
2. In a medium sized pot, combine chicken stock, water and quinoa over a medium flame, bringing to a boil and then lowering heat to simmer.
3. Add tomatoes and chiles and red pepper flakes to the chicken stock and bring to a boil.
4. Add spinach mixture, smoked sausage, and shrimp and simmer for about 20 minutes.
Now if you want real, real goodness, dice up the bacon and throw it in there. If you're one of those health nuts like me, leave it out. I like to use my fat sources wisely. For cajun-esque cooking there is just no substitute for bacon, so I use the drippings to get the flavor. I don't have nutritional information right off hand but I rember after plugging it into my food journal it wasn't that bad on calories or fat. In the future I'll add a little more quinoa and more meat and shrimp to bump up the protein in it but overall it was yummy! I played lunch fairy with my Guinea Pig...er, friend Melanie who said she loved the flavor but that it was a bit too spicy (remember in my version at home I used a spicier version, the above should be just fine for those of you who only like a touch of spiciness.)
In other news, I read a study today (and if I was smart I'd link it) that says that there is no detrimental effect on weight loss by eating late at night. The caveat is that you have to consistently burn a good amount of energy during the day. Well today I cleaned all day long and ended the day with a nice 30 minute cardio blast I dunno if this qualifies me for the late eating plan, but I'm gonna have a snack soon all the same.
I haven't posted my stats the last few posts so I'll give you an update:
Highest Weight: 337 lbs.
Surgery day weight: 327 lbs.
Today's weight: 214 lbs.
Total loss since surgery: 113 lbs!!!
I'm chipping away at it folks! Pray for me as I continue on this journey.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
In Commemoration of a Historic Day
As you all know very well, today marks the anniversary of a very tragic day in U.S. history--the attack on the United States on the World Trade Centers, the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania.
What strikes me as particularly tragic about the attacks, aside from the magnitude, is that they were so unexpected. There was no warning. Wives kissed their husbands goodbye that morning not knowing that would be the last kiss they shared. Children hugged their mothers not knowing that they would never again be comforted by their mother's embrace. Perhaps because of the unexpected nature of these attacks, the tragedy left an open wound in the American psyche.
There is a saying that became popular immediately post-9/11 - Let us not forget. I don't think we've forgotten that tragic day, however, like other milestone days in history, as time goes by we become desensitized to the strong emotions attached to the day. We remember that it was a sad day, we remember where we were and what we were doing when we first heard the news. It is a memory and an anecdote.
This morning I spoke to my daughters about the significance of today. I explained to them, in terms they would understand, what happened seven years ago, what my life was like back then, and how I felt and now feel about the events of the day. In response they asked me two questions that I feel compelled to share with all of you. The first thing they asked me was if I hate the people who "did the bad things." That was a difficult question. I do not believe in my heart that I hate anybody, however, I also do not know if I can, like the Amish did with the man who attacked and killed their innocent children, forgive these evil perpetrators. Forgiveness is an act of love and I had to remember that God commands us, first and foremost to love one another. That mandate is the foundation upon which the ten commandments are built. Even as I type this note to you I am hesitant to say that I forgive Osama Bin-Laden, who still promotes a culture of terror and hatred. I am reluctant to say that I forgive the men who hijacked those flights. God forgive me, but I am just not ready to do that yet.
The second question they asked me is why I would want to remember such a horrible day. I smiled when they asked that because I have always been a believer that history is not factual. It is written in the hearts and minds of those who lived it and in the interpretations of those who study it. So I told them that September 11th, to me, was a reminder of some very important things. First and foremost, to those you love, let them know every day how much you love them, how precious they are to you. My mother said that my grandmother used to tell her, "I want to smell my roses while I am still alive." Celebrate people in the here and now. As Americans, we have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for. I worship an AWESOME God who loved me so much that He sent His only begotten son to die for my sins. I have a family who loves and cherishes me and tells me how much they love me every chance they get. I have a home in which to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, clean water to drink. And I have the opportunity, today, to tell my friends and family how special they are to me.
So that is the point of this long note today. To implore you to honor the people who perished this day seven years ago, by living your lives to the fullest, never taking for granted a single moment. Tell the people you love that you love them today. Following my own advice, I would like to say that I love all of you.
God bless and take care.
What strikes me as particularly tragic about the attacks, aside from the magnitude, is that they were so unexpected. There was no warning. Wives kissed their husbands goodbye that morning not knowing that would be the last kiss they shared. Children hugged their mothers not knowing that they would never again be comforted by their mother's embrace. Perhaps because of the unexpected nature of these attacks, the tragedy left an open wound in the American psyche.
There is a saying that became popular immediately post-9/11 - Let us not forget. I don't think we've forgotten that tragic day, however, like other milestone days in history, as time goes by we become desensitized to the strong emotions attached to the day. We remember that it was a sad day, we remember where we were and what we were doing when we first heard the news. It is a memory and an anecdote.
This morning I spoke to my daughters about the significance of today. I explained to them, in terms they would understand, what happened seven years ago, what my life was like back then, and how I felt and now feel about the events of the day. In response they asked me two questions that I feel compelled to share with all of you. The first thing they asked me was if I hate the people who "did the bad things." That was a difficult question. I do not believe in my heart that I hate anybody, however, I also do not know if I can, like the Amish did with the man who attacked and killed their innocent children, forgive these evil perpetrators. Forgiveness is an act of love and I had to remember that God commands us, first and foremost to love one another. That mandate is the foundation upon which the ten commandments are built. Even as I type this note to you I am hesitant to say that I forgive Osama Bin-Laden, who still promotes a culture of terror and hatred. I am reluctant to say that I forgive the men who hijacked those flights. God forgive me, but I am just not ready to do that yet.
The second question they asked me is why I would want to remember such a horrible day. I smiled when they asked that because I have always been a believer that history is not factual. It is written in the hearts and minds of those who lived it and in the interpretations of those who study it. So I told them that September 11th, to me, was a reminder of some very important things. First and foremost, to those you love, let them know every day how much you love them, how precious they are to you. My mother said that my grandmother used to tell her, "I want to smell my roses while I am still alive." Celebrate people in the here and now. As Americans, we have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for. I worship an AWESOME God who loved me so much that He sent His only begotten son to die for my sins. I have a family who loves and cherishes me and tells me how much they love me every chance they get. I have a home in which to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, clean water to drink. And I have the opportunity, today, to tell my friends and family how special they are to me.
So that is the point of this long note today. To implore you to honor the people who perished this day seven years ago, by living your lives to the fullest, never taking for granted a single moment. Tell the people you love that you love them today. Following my own advice, I would like to say that I love all of you.
God bless and take care.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
My Lunchbox Manifesto
Do you know what your kids are eating for lunch? I mean really? Do you know? Or do you just send them in with a dollar every day to purchase lunch from the cafeteria, trusting that they are getting a nutritious meal.
Wake up call people: kids are getting FAT. I don’t mean to be harsh by using the “F” word but it’s a hard reality we all have to learn to face. Kids are getting bigger, more of them are getting diabetes, because of weight gain girls are menstruating early, and all kids who are overweight are at higher risk for heart disease. Now if your child eats three square meals a day, theoretically two of them are consumed in your home. Take a look at those meals too but the focus of my rant is on the Federal School Lunch Program.
Last year I started to pay closer attention to what my children were eating in their school lunch. The menu? Well let’s see…one day they had a breaded chicken patty on a white bread roll with tater tots, a fruit cup and milk. Ok, sounds innocent enough right? Let’s break that down shall we?
Chicken patty = unnecessary simple carbohydrates + it was probably fried when it was made in a factory somewhere + we can never be sure what part of the chicken it’s made out of + it probably has a good deal of sodium = BAD
White roll = simple carbohydrate which = quick spike in blood sugar followed by a crash = BAD
Tater tots = greasy (even if they are baked) + simple carbohydrate + lots of sodium = (You guessed it) BAD.
Fruit cup = little nutritional value + fiber taken away by removing fruit skins + swimming in sugary syrup (simple carbohydrate) = BAD
Milk = the most nutritional part of this meal but it tends to be whole milk. After age 6 or so it’s usually a good idea to get kids off of whole milk. They no longer need it for brain development and it is higher in lactose (milk sugar) and fat.
The Verdict: School lunches are evil!!!
So I decided, as an empowered parent, to do something about it. Now let me tell you that my kids are overweight due to many factors that have nothing to do with the school lunch program (and a couple that do). So my first step was to accept responsibility for the parts of their weight gain that I had control over (cuz, I’m sorry, I’m not apologizing for having the fat gene). For years I fed them McDonald’s and white bread and greasy fried food and Chinese food and every other bad, evil kind of food out there. To alter my children’s future and to give them any reasonable chance of having healthy functioning bodies, I had to change the whole picture, not just their school lunch. But again, the focus is on the lunch, so that’s what I’ll comment on.
This year we decided that we would mostly pack our lunch (I’ll explain the mostly in a minute). To help with my grocery shopping and to keep some resemblance of structure in their lives (they don’t do well with constant change) we decided on themed lunches by day. So we agreed that:
On Monday they’ll get a sandwich
On Tuesday they’ll get a salad
On Wednesday they’ll get a pita pocket
On Thursday they can pack their own lunch
On Friday I will relent and let them have greasy school pizza and whatever else is on the menu
To examine the difference let’s examine my lunch a bit closer…
Yesterday was Tuesday but with the holiday I mistook it for a Monday and packed them sandwiches. My oldest was quite upset but she’ll get over it. So here’s the run-down: a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat bread, a banana, sugar-free lemonade, and a sugar-free, low-fat chocolate pudding. The breakdown:
Tuna sandwich on wheat = whole wheat bread which = complex carbohydrate AND fiber + tuna which = HIGH protein + low-fat mayo (just 30 calories per tablespoon) = Yummy and Good
Banana = Potassium (hello!) + something sweet to go with the sandwich
Sugar-free lemonade = 8 oz. of the required 64 oz. of water with good flavoring. They still get milk everyday but they get skim milk at home.
Pudding = mid-morning snack which = they aren’t crazy hungry monsters at lunch time + nice calcium boost + no sugar, very low fat = Good kid-friendly snack choice
See the difference? Plus my lunches have no nasty trans fats and they are eating fresh food. Best of all, if you integrate packing lunch into a larger healthier eating plan, it doesn’t cost that much. I make lunch out of stuff that I already have around the house.
To redeem myself today, I made the oldest her blessed salad so today she had a chicken Caesar salad (with Romaine lettuce…a departure since I usually use baby spinach leaves) topped with a whole boneless, skinless chicken breast that was parmesan crusted and grilled, and approximately five whole-wheat croutons. They had pudding again as a snack.
Now why did I go on this rant? To tell you all to watch out for my latest blog which will be debuting in the next few weeks. I am inspired by a lady from Washington named Jennifer McCann who wrote the book Vegan Lunchbox. She has a blog of the same name where she explains and shows pictures of hers, her husband’s and her son’s healthy vegan lunches. I thought to myself…”Self? Wouldn’t it be great to do that for parents who are not vegans?” And thus begins the Lunchbox Revolution! This new blog will actually show you what I am making for my children’s lunch, anything new I find out about nutrition, and other great information about transforming your child’s lunch experience.
My goal? To show others that it’s not so hard to change, it just takes change. Anyhoo…check back in the next week or so for my first lunch post. Viva la lunchbox revolution!!!
Wake up call people: kids are getting FAT. I don’t mean to be harsh by using the “F” word but it’s a hard reality we all have to learn to face. Kids are getting bigger, more of them are getting diabetes, because of weight gain girls are menstruating early, and all kids who are overweight are at higher risk for heart disease. Now if your child eats three square meals a day, theoretically two of them are consumed in your home. Take a look at those meals too but the focus of my rant is on the Federal School Lunch Program.
Last year I started to pay closer attention to what my children were eating in their school lunch. The menu? Well let’s see…one day they had a breaded chicken patty on a white bread roll with tater tots, a fruit cup and milk. Ok, sounds innocent enough right? Let’s break that down shall we?
Chicken patty = unnecessary simple carbohydrates + it was probably fried when it was made in a factory somewhere + we can never be sure what part of the chicken it’s made out of + it probably has a good deal of sodium = BAD
White roll = simple carbohydrate which = quick spike in blood sugar followed by a crash = BAD
Tater tots = greasy (even if they are baked) + simple carbohydrate + lots of sodium = (You guessed it) BAD.
Fruit cup = little nutritional value + fiber taken away by removing fruit skins + swimming in sugary syrup (simple carbohydrate) = BAD
Milk = the most nutritional part of this meal but it tends to be whole milk. After age 6 or so it’s usually a good idea to get kids off of whole milk. They no longer need it for brain development and it is higher in lactose (milk sugar) and fat.
The Verdict: School lunches are evil!!!
So I decided, as an empowered parent, to do something about it. Now let me tell you that my kids are overweight due to many factors that have nothing to do with the school lunch program (and a couple that do). So my first step was to accept responsibility for the parts of their weight gain that I had control over (cuz, I’m sorry, I’m not apologizing for having the fat gene). For years I fed them McDonald’s and white bread and greasy fried food and Chinese food and every other bad, evil kind of food out there. To alter my children’s future and to give them any reasonable chance of having healthy functioning bodies, I had to change the whole picture, not just their school lunch. But again, the focus is on the lunch, so that’s what I’ll comment on.
This year we decided that we would mostly pack our lunch (I’ll explain the mostly in a minute). To help with my grocery shopping and to keep some resemblance of structure in their lives (they don’t do well with constant change) we decided on themed lunches by day. So we agreed that:
On Monday they’ll get a sandwich
On Tuesday they’ll get a salad
On Wednesday they’ll get a pita pocket
On Thursday they can pack their own lunch
On Friday I will relent and let them have greasy school pizza and whatever else is on the menu
To examine the difference let’s examine my lunch a bit closer…
Yesterday was Tuesday but with the holiday I mistook it for a Monday and packed them sandwiches. My oldest was quite upset but she’ll get over it. So here’s the run-down: a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat bread, a banana, sugar-free lemonade, and a sugar-free, low-fat chocolate pudding. The breakdown:
Tuna sandwich on wheat = whole wheat bread which = complex carbohydrate AND fiber + tuna which = HIGH protein + low-fat mayo (just 30 calories per tablespoon) = Yummy and Good
Banana = Potassium (hello!) + something sweet to go with the sandwich
Sugar-free lemonade = 8 oz. of the required 64 oz. of water with good flavoring. They still get milk everyday but they get skim milk at home.
Pudding = mid-morning snack which = they aren’t crazy hungry monsters at lunch time + nice calcium boost + no sugar, very low fat = Good kid-friendly snack choice
See the difference? Plus my lunches have no nasty trans fats and they are eating fresh food. Best of all, if you integrate packing lunch into a larger healthier eating plan, it doesn’t cost that much. I make lunch out of stuff that I already have around the house.
To redeem myself today, I made the oldest her blessed salad so today she had a chicken Caesar salad (with Romaine lettuce…a departure since I usually use baby spinach leaves) topped with a whole boneless, skinless chicken breast that was parmesan crusted and grilled, and approximately five whole-wheat croutons. They had pudding again as a snack.
Now why did I go on this rant? To tell you all to watch out for my latest blog which will be debuting in the next few weeks. I am inspired by a lady from Washington named Jennifer McCann who wrote the book Vegan Lunchbox. She has a blog of the same name where she explains and shows pictures of hers, her husband’s and her son’s healthy vegan lunches. I thought to myself…”Self? Wouldn’t it be great to do that for parents who are not vegans?” And thus begins the Lunchbox Revolution! This new blog will actually show you what I am making for my children’s lunch, anything new I find out about nutrition, and other great information about transforming your child’s lunch experience.
My goal? To show others that it’s not so hard to change, it just takes change. Anyhoo…check back in the next week or so for my first lunch post. Viva la lunchbox revolution!!!
