The Frazzled Scribe

Take a look at the two women above and tell me which one looks like she's really enjoying life. Seriously, though, this is my "official" before/after pic. It took me a while to get one because...well, thanks to the wonders of insecurity and neuroses I still didn't really see the difference in my self. Yes, yes, looking at this it sounds crazy doesn't it? But it takes a while for the brain to catch up with what's happening to the body.

Anyhoo...let me take a moment to tell you about the chick on the left. She was not happy. Sure, she smiled and laughed but behind that smile was a lonely woman. A woman so accustomed to shutting out the rest of the world, she could barely stand to be touched, even for a hug from her family or friends. That chick had a four-Pepsi-a-day habit. She ate whole packs of Oreo cookies and could finish off a large pizza by herself. As you can see, she barely gave flying fig how she looked going out of the house. She was a size 4X or a 26/28 which she had convinced herself was something to take pride in. Now I'm not knocking the big beautiful women out there who are confident and proud, but that was not that chick. That chick hid behind excuses waiting for life to come to her.

The chick on the right. She is something totally different. She's hard to describe because she's a work in progress. What I know about her as of right now is that she looks forward to the challenge of a new day. She likes to look her best going out of the house because who knows who she'll meet? She is no longer a zombie in front of the tv. She interacts with her children, talks to her friends, and totally gets a kick out of outpacing men on the eliptical machine at the gym. That chick has set a goal for herself to go to grad school in 2009 and I think she is actually gonna do it. That chick has decided she's tired of being alone and has thrown herself into the crazy world of dating after 30. She's different clothing sizes (depending on the name brand) but most place her at a size L or a 12/14, which she is proud of but at the same time cannot wait to shrink out of. Most importantly, that chick is living her life whereas the chick on the right is watching that life pass her by.

So there you have it folks. I am nearly 9 months post-op. This picture was taken a little over a year ago. 115 lbs ago. It seems like a lifetime ago. I'm not posting this to be braggadocious (is that a real word?) but more to make the statement that change can happen if you make it happen. I resolve every morning to make it happen for me.