The Frazzled Scribe

I was inspired to write this after because I first I was convinced that "old school" love doesn't exist anymore. Now I think it does exist, just not for me right now. So I figure if I speak it into the universe, maybe it'll two-step its way on over here.

Enjoy.

What every happened to old fashioned romance?

Hidden smiles, clandestine glances
First words navigated by the watchful glances of mother’s and aunts
So much to go through
I don’t even know you
By my, oh my, how I want to

Strolling through the neighborhood
Afraid of holding hands
Dodging hungry eyes and thirsty ears
Prowling a place to converse
Your words are like a lyrical verse
I seek you, when I cannot see you
Who are you?
I don’t yet know you
Quite the way I want to

Friction , combustion, the of rubbing hands
Grazing of lips
The slightest flashing of forbidden skin
Tropical air lingers between us,
Wet and electric
There is only one good reason to stop
Kindling across the boundary
Of far and way too far
I have to refuse you
I cannot yet know you
But, damn, how I want to

Calla lilies, French lace
White as cream
Sage brooms
My handsome groom
Many smiles turned up at me
Walking through a curtain of rice
Baby steps into eternity
When you get old and I get old
we’ll smile with the knowledge of life revisited
of the tales we’ve lived
the times we’ve told
of new life sprouted from that first glance
And in that moment of delicious blessing
Finally, I shall know you
In the way that I was intended to

So I think Beyonce is on E. For real.

Has anybody seen her latest video “Déjà vu?” Well, let me give you the quick and dirty (pun intended) summary. Jay-Z raps in his trademark oversized t-shirt (which I’m convinced hides man boobs of some sort, but since I super-love him I forgive that) and baggy jeans, Beyonce dances in about fifty outfits of varying skimpiness and ridiculousness (the most ridiculous—in my humble opinion—being Tina Knowles’ take of an African tribal woman) and a lot of gyrating. So here’s my case that she’s on E:

Tell-tale weight loss

I can imagine one of two scenarios: the first, obviously, is crack/E. We saw it with Whitney, getting skinnier and skinnier until she looked like the Crypt-keeper. Now the more realistic situation probably is that B and company have been listening to that horrible, horrible Hollywood image machine that says women must be super-thin with their pelvic bones jutting outand no-you-may-not-have-a-bootie. Well, B still has a booty, I will applaud her for putting her foot down (or her metabolic system for outright refusing to give it up). She’s not skinny-skinny (yet) but I sense she’s heading toward that magical place where Nicole Richie lives and where Lindsay Lohan took a vacation for a little while. And B’s got height on her so you know that won’t be pretty.

The “I can make you feeeeeeeeeeel good” image

Ok, I can usually get down with Beyonce (and Destiny’s Child’s) funky dance moves. Their choreographer is either challenged, delusional, or looking to exact revenge on the girls for reasons unknown, but those moves directly on Jay-Z’s person were kind of…I don’t know…strange. He just went on talking like she wasn’t there while she popped gum and tugged at his belt buckle. Now if that don’t spell, “I’ll go down on you for a hit” I don’t know what does.

Crazy Legs/Crazy vocal chords

Ok so we’ve already established that the choreography is whack (do people still say that?) but what exactly do I find so offensive? First off, she is dancing too damn hard for the tempo of the song. It’s like she has something to prove in her own head that none of us will ever know about. This kind of thing works for new performers who have a lot to prove, but B—honey…sweetheart—you managed to sell us a song called “Bootylicious.” I think you’ve paid your dues. At one point I was really expecting B to pass out from exhaustion. Somebody get B a glass of water.

And why is she yelling at us through the entire song? Ok, I get it. You feel like he’s everywhere you go (paranoia), she sees him everywhere (delusions) and you need to express this but, as I say to my 4 year-old all the time, could you use inside voices please?

So in conclusion…

I’m very disappointed with her career thus far. What happened to really good music from women? I mean it’s a sad, sad statement when I like Paris Hilton’s song better than Beyonce’s (and that I like Paris’ video a whole, whole lot more). Christina Aguilera’s new album even looks more promising than B. I’m afraid girlfriend is getting ready to implode due to her own fabulosity.

So anyone out there who reads this (does anyone read this): light a candle for Beyonce.

Ok, so shoot me if you want to, but I think this Mel Gibson thing is going WAY overboard.

First let me set some thoughts down in anticipation of all the objections you might be thinking up:

YES Mel was stupid to go out and get drunk and then get behind the wheel of a car even though many people offered to drive him home.

YES Me was wrong to have behaved badly towards a police officer.

NO I don’t think it’s “ok” to make anti-semitic remarks or any other racist remarks ever.

HOWEVER, raise your hand if you’ve never, ever, EVER done something stupid, drunk or otherwise, that you cringe to think about even now?

Yeah, I thought so.

Sometimes people forget that celebrities are people too. Granted they are mostly spoiled, over-indulgent, self-absorbed people, but they are people and they are prone to making mistakes. I’ve had several people tell me they think Mel Gibson should be black balled (no pun intended) b/c of this because, in theory, even if he is sorry about what he did, he is showing his true colors to the world.
Okay, let’s go with that theory.

One of the few things that Dubya has let us keep these past six years is our right to hold any opinion we want. It’s an American value. But it seems to me that it is only valued when the individual opinion is in agreement with the popular opinion. That, to me, isn’t democracy, that’s brain washing. Ok, so Mel has a repressed resentment towards Jews. Should he lose his career over that? NO. Will his career be very successful with that mind set? Probably not. What I’m saying here (b/c I know I’m getting convoluted) is two things: #1 Let he who is without sin cast the first stone and #2 the man is human and has the right to do human things. Drawing and quartering him for being human isn’t fair. Imagine if everyone who ever made a derogatory statement EVER lost their careers. It isn’t right. I think Mel should make amends for his behavior. He hurt a lot of people, a lot of fans, but I think the buzz going around about Mel is just ridiculous. Almost makes me pray for Paris Hilton to do something stupid just to get the heat off of the guy. And that’s never a good thing to hope for.