Sunday, February 24, 2008
All Sorts of Stuff
First let's get the business out of the way:
Date of surgery: 326 lbs.
Today: 294 lbs.
Total Weight lost: 32 lbs.
Ok, so I am writing now because my stomach has finally decided to act like it has some daggone sense. I must say that the routine nature of my life is quite comforting. I'm back to work, exercising, trying to keep up with my meds and vitamins and just generally feel really peaceful.
Good things are happening people. Guess what? I just landed my first writer job!!! Seriously, the word "writer" will be in my job title! I am all at once excited and completely petrified. It's interesting to me how low self esteem can creep into even your happiest moments. I mean, I know I'm a good writer (if feedback from others counts as knowledge that is). Deep down in my heart I love to write. But in that moment of finding out I got the job, I couldn't help but think "what if I suck at it?" Self-doubt is so not hot.
In reality, I think that's part of what my unhealthy life has been about. Committing myself to fail so horribly instead of being brave and taking the chance to be successful. Everyone makes mistakes (especially me), but the brave person learns from them and keeps on striving. The meek person builds a shelter around them and fortifies themselves against change. I don't want to be that meek person anymore. I want to use the talent that God gave me. I want to realize the optimal human form that I can have. And why shouldn't I? I deserve it. You guys don't know how much therapy it takes to actually be able to say the previous sentence without going "yeah right" in your head. I deserve it!
In less Dr. Phil-esque news (well, maybe not), I find myself more and more interested in my aesthetic lately. Not that I ignored how I looked before. I was mildly concerned but frankly I had given up on myself a ways back. These days I long for a manicure and pedicure and I actually am thinking about having a facial. The point is this. There is a whole big world full of things to do that have nothing to do with eating and I'm discovering that. I know I've said it a zillion times, but I had no idea that food was such a big part of my life. I was centered around it and the results of overeating dominated my life. These past few weeks have been like being reborn in more ways than one. Things seem more possible, like a blank slate for me.
Plus, I can't drink too much without being burped. But that's a story for another day! I'm out.
Date of surgery: 326 lbs.
Today: 294 lbs.
Total Weight lost: 32 lbs.
Ok, so I am writing now because my stomach has finally decided to act like it has some daggone sense. I must say that the routine nature of my life is quite comforting. I'm back to work, exercising, trying to keep up with my meds and vitamins and just generally feel really peaceful.
Good things are happening people. Guess what? I just landed my first writer job!!! Seriously, the word "writer" will be in my job title! I am all at once excited and completely petrified. It's interesting to me how low self esteem can creep into even your happiest moments. I mean, I know I'm a good writer (if feedback from others counts as knowledge that is). Deep down in my heart I love to write. But in that moment of finding out I got the job, I couldn't help but think "what if I suck at it?" Self-doubt is so not hot.
In reality, I think that's part of what my unhealthy life has been about. Committing myself to fail so horribly instead of being brave and taking the chance to be successful. Everyone makes mistakes (especially me), but the brave person learns from them and keeps on striving. The meek person builds a shelter around them and fortifies themselves against change. I don't want to be that meek person anymore. I want to use the talent that God gave me. I want to realize the optimal human form that I can have. And why shouldn't I? I deserve it. You guys don't know how much therapy it takes to actually be able to say the previous sentence without going "yeah right" in your head. I deserve it!
In less Dr. Phil-esque news (well, maybe not), I find myself more and more interested in my aesthetic lately. Not that I ignored how I looked before. I was mildly concerned but frankly I had given up on myself a ways back. These days I long for a manicure and pedicure and I actually am thinking about having a facial. The point is this. There is a whole big world full of things to do that have nothing to do with eating and I'm discovering that. I know I've said it a zillion times, but I had no idea that food was such a big part of my life. I was centered around it and the results of overeating dominated my life. These past few weeks have been like being reborn in more ways than one. Things seem more possible, like a blank slate for me.
Plus, I can't drink too much without being burped. But that's a story for another day! I'm out.
# posted by Bariatric Foodie @ 12:35 PM 
