Sunday, January 20, 2008
I'm here...
It's been a long time but I decided to re-vamp the blog a bit because my life is changing! I just underwent gastric bypass surgery on January 8th and am attempting to re-invent myself a bit (not that there is anything wrong with the Goddess that I was, but it's time for something new). So I want to invite all my friends to join me for this journey as I keep you all updated on what's new with me, mingled with lots of information on WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) and the challenges of trying to break out of my mold. So here goes...
I am 12 days post-op and boy what a difference twelve days can make in a person's life! Twelve days ago I had just got out of surgery and could barely walk because of the pain of the six small incisions along my abdomen. I felt like a balloon from the gas they pumped into me so that they could see my insides through a laparoscopic camera, and I was scared. Very, very scared. Mostly I was scared of failure. What if this surgery did not change anything? What if my demons were too strong to conquer? I know that all sounds very dramatic and existential but when you are having surgery to make your stomach smaller because you are morbidly obese, you're allowed to have existential thoughts.
Twelve days later...well, I would love to say I have it all figured out (but that would make me God or something...wait, that was seven days :-) but I don't. I take every day one day at a time. I can't eat as much and that is causing big changes in me. Firstly, because my life was so food-centric that I realize now that I'm going to have to learn to think of and do other things because the hunger is just not there anymore. Secondly, I still am not entirely acquainted with how my body works. I'll spare you all the more grotesque illustrations of how I came to think this, but it's true. It will take a while to know what works for me and what doesn't. In the meantime, instead of fearing failure I am trying to embrace possibilities. I look forward to getting clearance to start an exercise program (after 12 days of recuperation I am looking to go on the momentum of my own cabin fever) and just get back to my life and change some things.
I guess that's all for now, but I'm going to try to post every few days because there's always some new observation or discovery that I've made that I feel merits sharing with the entire world wide web.
To borrow a phrase pattern from a very well respected colleague of mine,
Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes to you all.
I am 12 days post-op and boy what a difference twelve days can make in a person's life! Twelve days ago I had just got out of surgery and could barely walk because of the pain of the six small incisions along my abdomen. I felt like a balloon from the gas they pumped into me so that they could see my insides through a laparoscopic camera, and I was scared. Very, very scared. Mostly I was scared of failure. What if this surgery did not change anything? What if my demons were too strong to conquer? I know that all sounds very dramatic and existential but when you are having surgery to make your stomach smaller because you are morbidly obese, you're allowed to have existential thoughts.
Twelve days later...well, I would love to say I have it all figured out (but that would make me God or something...wait, that was seven days :-) but I don't. I take every day one day at a time. I can't eat as much and that is causing big changes in me. Firstly, because my life was so food-centric that I realize now that I'm going to have to learn to think of and do other things because the hunger is just not there anymore. Secondly, I still am not entirely acquainted with how my body works. I'll spare you all the more grotesque illustrations of how I came to think this, but it's true. It will take a while to know what works for me and what doesn't. In the meantime, instead of fearing failure I am trying to embrace possibilities. I look forward to getting clearance to start an exercise program (after 12 days of recuperation I am looking to go on the momentum of my own cabin fever) and just get back to my life and change some things.
I guess that's all for now, but I'm going to try to post every few days because there's always some new observation or discovery that I've made that I feel merits sharing with the entire world wide web.
To borrow a phrase pattern from a very well respected colleague of mine,
Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes to you all.
# posted by Bariatric Foodie @ 12:49 PM 
